Gin and Tonic Season

So I took this test, a test that others on this great interweb are taking. Humor and what kind are you into or something like that.
this is what I got. want to give it a go yourself? go right ahead. then come back and tell me all about it.

Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.

Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

	You scored higher than 87% on darkness
	You scored higher than 41% on spontaneity
	You scored higher than 11% on vulgarity

I just had to break up with an internet service provider (ISP) today. It was for a client. I felt like I was letting the ISP down. This is how it rolled down.

ISP: Hello this is T___ how may I help you?

Me: Hi this is Lounge from C____C___, I have a client who uses your services and would like to cancel them.

ISP: um [silence]

I know that’s harsh I went strait into it, all heartless-like.

ISP: who are you with… um, I mean who is your client?

Me: A_____ and C______ we are their technical consultants.

ISP: Um, I noticed your T1 was down last week…

Me: Yeah, we switched over to a Bonded T1.

ISP: ok hold on.

At this point this is when it hits me; I’m totally breaking up with this ISP.

ISP: hello this is M____ how may I help you.

Great now I have to break up again

After I explained it again:

ISP: what do you have now?

Me: speakeasy bonded T1

ISP: why did you change?

Me: Because the Bonded T1 was faster.

Ok look it wasn’t you it is me, its all me… OK?!!

ISP: Who is the contact at A_____ C_______?

Me:T____ used to be T_____

ISP: I will need to talk to them.

Me: OK, I’ll let him know so he will expect your call. Thank you.

ISP: thank you.

CLICK

I went to the corner of the conference room, went into a fetal position and wept.

Re-creating the exodus out of Egypt can be fun, especially if you have to climb on furniture to do so. This is what I had to do at my last sader at what some would call “the fairy princess castle”* but I like to call it “stately Wayne Manor”*.

One of the many things I’ve learned about sedars is that you must, I repeat MUST, pace yourself; the amount of wine being consumed will put you on your G-d fearing ass and climbing around furniture pretending the Egyptians are on your tail after many glasses of kosher malbec aint a good idea. Another thing I’ve learned is how heavy and dense unleavened cake is, but pretty damn good even with brisket juice.

I also would like to thank StacyRed for inviting me to her sader and letting this crazy Puerto Rican walk all over her furniture. I dig Judaism.

*”fairy princess castle” is what Stacy calls her building, because the lobby is very palatial but Michael and I think it’s more along the lines of “stately Wayne Manor”